One of the unspoken attractions of Vallarta is that tourists can blend into this environment and observe the happening without the attendant stiltedness that usually occurs when strangers are present in these kinds of situations. The key word is blending. Vallarta has no ghetto. Tourists are as common as palm trees and vice versa, no big deal. The women washing in the river alongside the market at their traditional rock are probably more photographed than cover girls (they have a longer professional career). The result is you ignore and are ignored, and that frankly is neat!

The big market is situated at the North end of the Northbound Bridge and it is enclosed and fills the block. The upstairs is the "food floor" i.e. cooked food and you will see small children waiting and transporting food in covered earthenware crockery covered in paisley tea towels to shop keepers all around the area especially between 1:00 and 3:00 in the afternoon.

Many shops close for siesta still but the tourist oriented ones have staggered shifts or send one of these younger runners to the "second floor" while they tend the store. The first floor has everything else from fresh fish, shrimp, oysters to a mega flea market. Way-out tee-shirts, leather goods, belts, tools, utensils hardware, jewelry, silver you name it, someone has it. This is gift heaven. If you're not a shopper but sense the inevitable obligations that mysteriously are associated with being away.... (You go away but YOU have to bring something back to regain entry to your home and customs is the gauntlet) ...you're not a seasoned traveller either. Don't fret though, in one hour here you'll find a selection that will satisfy grandchildren and Mother.

There is a convenient bar across the street called El Fuente del Puente which means the fountain of the bridge. It's an OK bar but a little touristy and pricey but OK for a drink while you wait for the shopper of the day. If you are squeamish, avoid the meat and poultry section, especially later in the day when things settle down and the flies can land on the desired tidbits without risking dissection by the wielding knives that dance between 07:00 and 11:00. That's the action and "choice time".

If you're there after nine you're obviously a "looker" as the best is gone. Same with vegetables across the street. If you're an earnest shopper I hope you're good with a cart. (no carts in the market but in the adjoining vegetable store they have them and collisions too!). This is the big market but not necessarily the best. You have to know it to evaluate the best ones, which we only let the "hard core" tourists in on. On the cocktail circuit back home the "boat people" who claim to have been to Pto.Vallarta are no doubt referring to this market. (Their diesel belching bus stopped for seven minutes outside while they did a ‘pan' with their camcorders of THIS market.)

The secret markets are both close to either of MEX-DEV's suites and they are the EMILIANO ZAPATA market located on Lazaro CARDENAS street (it also features pottery - but alas the too big kind) and the vegetable selection is numero uno. The other one is North of Villas SONIA across from the cemetery. A twelve-year BUNGEE repeat customer from the interior of B.C. who is a grower definitely swears by this market. If the hustle and bustle of the markets is too much for you, try the boutiques which abound throughout the town. You can't help not missing them and they boast every big name from Ralph Lauren to Benelton. The no-name or generic 'Vallarta uniform' places have the same items at roughly the same prices but each may have that extra "just what you wanted" item so you must visit them all!

Seventy percent of the cobblestoned area, probably one square mile in all, contains interesting stores for shopping, so bring comfortable shoes. Speaking of shoes this is one place that IMELDA overlooked but your closet may move up a rating after a pass through town. If you're a leather freak you will probably be planning a second trip right there, in one of the three main stores that handle leather. Careful though that you don't buy some endangered species skin (don't listen necessarily to the vendor on this one). One of our customers is involved in a saga presently.

MEXICO has joined GATT and also is a member of the international convention for the protection of endangered animals - a long way from slaughtering turtles just a few years ago. Remember this when you think of free trade. I mean this in a positive way. With prosperity comes education, and with education comes rationale along with 'maturing' markets. If selling to kids seems easy, consider selling to the third world...(I hate that expression, better emerging nations)... it will be a BIG push over. In MEXICO alone there are ninety million people who want what you and I already have. Job losses are a pittance in the big picture and they aren't losses they're "shifts". Don't fear the future.

Try papaya and jicama (this last is what they serve at Carlos O’Briens with carrot sticks for appetizers). Yes Virginia, that ugly turnip- looking thing is exactly what you bugged the waiter to tell you what it was and when he told you JICAMA (pronounced HICKA MA).... you blushed. Bargaining is the order of the day at the markets of which there are several. Don't bother trying to barter during the day on Wednesday as that is when the cruise ships are in town. These folks are here only for the day and will pay almost any price (they're in cruise ship mode) and therefore the vendors tend to sit on their prices.

With regard to the markets, the large one you may already know but there's also a straight FLEA Market at the north end of the southbound bridge. I'm speaking of the bridges in town of course over the Cuale River. You'd be surprised how many people who endure the tourist tanks on " El STRIP" north of town never get south of the main square and the CUALE River, and consequently miss so much of "this side of Vallarta".

Some stores that deserve honorable mention for unique things that are not necessarily expensive are: Artes y Indias on Insurgentes, Alfalferia Tlacquepaque (dishes pottery handblown glasses) on Avenida de MEXICO and if you find this one look across the street and down the street for a no name that has good prices (marked) on brass, paper mache, and handpainted ornaments etc.At the market if you want to be sure that you are dealing with reputable vendors, ask SONIA for directions to Kelly and Tonio's stands in the market. They have several, selling a variety of things. They are social friends of SONIA's and have been involved in that business for a long time. They have good prices and won't gouge you.

The best prices on those big brass parrots, unless you buy from the pick-up trucks supplying the beach vendors, who after the haggling have very good prices (but you'll never know will you) on many of these same items. Rule of thumb, if you like it and can afford it, buy it and reflect on its beauty not its price.

Microdine is an iodine-based chemical used in "sterilizing" water. It contains Iodine by the way. Many people swear this is foolproof and an easy thwart to the "revenge". All pharmacies carry it in small bottles. We often have put a few drops in the bottled water already, but rinse water should have more. Too much in drinking water alters the taste and colour.

An iron is available on a first come first served basis (two only for Casas ANITA and one for Villas SONIA). While we do supply toilet paper and hand soap, we don't supply paper towels or dishwashing soap. The hospitality package is designed to get you going and is not an ongoing thing.

Coffee filters are expensive and hard to find (they're sold where the coffer makers are sold and not where the coffee is sold). We have begun to sell some simple things at the ANITA/CORONA site as a convenience and if you can't be bothered to shop for spices and consumables or your stay is short, you can "rent a box" from the maids. This is not for distribution, it's for your own personal use. If your neighbour begs (unless he\she is good looking) tell them to rent their own. Paper towels and the like are not supplied but we've broken down and are offering coffee filters. Don't use them as blotters as you won't get anymore. "Flash" - after being told (granted by only one guest) that we're nickel and diming, we've curtailed the "extras" so coffee filters is where it stops. Sorry. Innkeepers have feelings too.

All the big films eventually get here. Titanic was here simultaneously with the release in the States. Tapes and records are inexpensive compared to back home and you may do well to look into purchasing these as gifts. The quality usually is as good, as many of the companies are the very same ones.

If you're interested in improving your Spanish, this is the side of town to choose. We have had some people that expressed certain fears living at Villas Sonia saying they felt isolated (we're the end of the road and hence more quiet). This area, let me assure you, is quite safe and peopled by working people for the most part who are vigilant for their own and our things. Community spirit is alive and well here. Embrace it and you will not be disappointed. Remember MEX- DEV. built the road and they know it. They also know you are our guests.

An English language national newspaper called THE NEWS is a tabloid giving world and local (Mexico) news. VALLARTA TODAY is a local daily, which is in English, and although not as thick as the Mexican version VALLARTA OPINA it carries local ads, etc. Both of these papers are delivered daily to CASA ANITA and we make them available to guests at the office. Vallarta TODAY is a great source of what's on in the particular week that you are there. Take note and read to find out if the mariachis are playing this night/week at your favorite place.

Make sure you find ABRAHAM, his orange juice is always delicious. He has a knack for selecting the oranges. Sometimes his wife is there instead of him or helping during the busy times. He gets there very early and works till about 11:30 A.M. A litre of orange juice (the best in the World) will cost you about two dollar US. It's delicious. Try some.

The official "stops" are marked by a blue and white sign picturing a bus. Vehicles pass approximately every ten minutes. Wait at the stop and raise your finger if you see the bus you want. When the bus stops, jump aboard smartly and hand the correct change (the amount should be whitewashed on the right windshield) or ask a fellow passenger "CUANTO?" ...then sit down quickly towards the back -QUICKLY- or at least hold on tight especially if no seats are available, which is most of the time.

The destination of the bus is posted clearly on the windshield (usually) of the vehicle.To return, get on any one heading towards town as they all eventually go through the downtown area. To go to Mismaloya Beach where they made the movie that started it all, board a "Ruta No.2". It’s more money but the ride is ten miles passing along the beautiful COSTA DE ORO, passing CASA ANITA. You may be able to get him to stop in front of CASA ANITA going south but to be sure (it's usually very crowded) go to the terminus down by the beach near the restaurant KALU where they serve the Brazilian delight of "churrabasco" ...spelling?

If you do try to intercept the bus going south, walk either south to the next pull out zone or north to the corner for the same reason. He won't stop for you and risk holding up a taxi for instance. On the way back however if you can correspond with him, he will stop in the parking lot of Casa Anita, as usually there is room to pull out.

Next to PACO PACO (used to be DIVA or X.O.'s) is a new store featuring TALEVERA ceramic which is famous throughout the world. Many of the MEX-DEV bathrooms boast TALEVERA hand-painted sinks. Another interesting store for curios large and small is ARTES y INDIAS on Insurgentes.

For Tiffany lamps and some papier mache, try DISENOS MOLL on Juarez in the BANK area. ONYX is available (the best selection next to the main Post Office.) Quality wall hangings and carpets can be found a block north of Disenos MOLL on the opposite side of the street on the corner. At the first light after descending the Hill from Casa ANITA, turn right and go 1/2 a block to TILE WORLD (Mundo de AZULEJOS). This store has the best selection of tile in all of Vallarta and Benny, the owner, has artists on staff hand painting while you watch. You can order from the many samples adorning the walls a pattern and text, custom made to your whim for around $20 to $30. and he'll have it ready in 24 hours or so, packed and ready to load into your suitcase. What a present for those hard-to-get types. A hand painted plaque saying 'Dorothy's Kitchen' for example???

For distinctive clothing that is different, (so I mention it here) take a peek at Laura's on 'Cafe Row' Basillio Badilla street.

Mrs. Applegate of SERVICIOS TURISTICOS around the corner from the post office is well informed and has many listings including one which had been advertised recently in Forbes Magazine for $950,000.00 U.S. If that is more than you want to pay consider renting it for a day at $1550.00 U.S.! I'm not kidding there are several Villas for rent in this price range, one I know of that is $1000.00 per day (tips included). With regard to sales, we don't solicit rental guests. If you're interested, ask.

It's simple enough, you spice, then smear it with mustard or ketchup or honey or anything that will cause it to sear and retain the juices. You may want to marinade it before but it is tasty enough without marinating and certainly it's tender enough if you don't dry it out. You can put it on the bar-b-que or in the broiler pan under the oven in the stoves. Use lots of the garlic they sell here. It's delicious and semi-sweet. You can use much more than you would normally.

If you want to try GUACAMOLE (pronounced goo-wak-a-mole-eey), mash up an avocado with small chunks of onion and tomato and add lime juice and Tabasco sauce, "y voila". Add tortilla chips and watch it disappear!

There are of course many, many more. Actually if you're interested in Mexican cuisine (careful - we're not talking TEX-MEX food) then let me recommend a local book sold by the Friendship Club and whose proceeds go to charity. It's a compendium of the old time Vallarta hands contributions with interesting recipes that are genuinely Vallartenese. If you're really into Mexican cuisine and want to take lessons, I have two suggestions; one is to go to Memo's Pancake house on Basillo Badillo and attend classes (winter time only) and secondly to hire Esperanza for the three day shopping cook deal and stand over her while she does her thing.

Caution, I repeat caution, lock all your doors and windows when exiting the premises and hide valuables from view. It is most important to use the lock boxes. The staff is impeccably honest but I can’t vouch for the other ninety-five million inhabitants not to mention tourists wishing to extend their sojourn in paradise.

The safest way to be sure is to carry travellers cheques on you and watch your purse while dancing or the like. Never leave unbarred windows or balcony doors open while asleep as that invites cats and cat-burglars. Simple precautions, the same as you would use at home, are the best method to prevent a robbery from happening. Use common sense and be wary.

Be careful of real cotton strong colours, as they will run even in cold water washes. This is less important these days but be mindful nevertheless. Exceptions are shoes...fantastic buys and these you'll buy plenty of and indeed wish you'd bought more. Shoe stores are 3 – TRES HERMANOS (good selection best prices but long waits). Higher quality shoes are found at PETIT JEAN and GOVE'S, which I hope are still in business. Frankly I'm not into women’s shoes myself but I know a ton of women that rave about what they find here.

Boutiques such as Benellton's. The walk away syndrome allows the next customer a chance and presto "Lastima.... but we don't have your size anymore". The above mentioned stores don't bargain. Careful of M/C and VISA although you may win the haggling, in the final accounting the merchants often times charge you an extra 6% to handle, the fee they are supposed to absorb for the convenience but try to pass off on the customer. I haven't got to the bottom of this practice but it is widespread - adding six percent if you use a credit card. Protest vehemently if you discover this. The magic word is "I'm reporting this to the TOURIST office" you'll be surprised at the English comprehension when "Oficina Del Turismo" or "Consumidora" is mentioned.

Check out Quicksilver (don't miss the many boutiques on Juarez near the banks, handy eh?). The prices are really cheap and there are real originals but many are made in Mexico, under license, same as Gilbey's gin - same bottle but 1/3 of the price. ELLESSE, CALVIN KLEIN, FILA, DIESEL, OCEAN PACIFIC, BENELLTON, they're all here. Others such as ROMY'S, ACA JOE's are also very popular. These are local places to shop for clothing and curios. Look for Boutique d'PAOLA with hand made clothes and accessories, No.253 -A Agustin Rodriguez. For arts and crafts like Tiffany lamps and dishes (hand painted) try ALFALFARIA TLAQUEPAQUE, Avenida Mexico, ARTES INDIAS, Avenida Insurgentes, or LA REJA on Juarez.

If you need an extra suitcase, LA SURTIDORA del Puente offers a good deal on Samsonite. Usually 1/2 price (after a devaluation) from what you would pay back home. If you see something you like and the value seems good, buy it NOW. I've seen so many people try to bargain to get it for a few pesos less and end up losing the article as in the "theatre" of bargaining.

Some stoves have a broiler compartment and some don't. The ones that don't allow the removal of the bottom plate which is the surest way to light the oven safely but the instructions claim holding a match to the hole centered between the oven door hinges while turning on the gas is the accepted manner. Many people chicken out before the inevitable dull whumpf! Consider that the gas and flame are below the metal plate so it's unlikely that you'll get singed.

You can buy sunscreen lotion in PVEE. SOLARCAINE is available in the Farmacia's. If you're staying a week don't worry you'll go home nice and brown if you just take it easy. One in ten persons don't and end up suffering for most of the balance of their vacation. Take it easy and slow down to the Mexican pace in all things, especially this.

All Mex-Dev locations have working swimming and dip pools (Anita/Corona del Mar has three pools) which are shared by the guests of the neighboring MEX-DEV dwellings only. Corona 7 has it's own private pool which is available to other guests when C7 is not occupied.

Included in this sharing are the bar-b-ques and deck chairs at Casa Anita. First come, first served. You can buy charcoal at the Super Mercado (Market) commercial type or we now offer (in small one-time quantities) real mesquite. Put your request on the blackboard or ask the houseboy who will fetch it and set it up for you, even lighting it for a wee tip over the modest cost of genuine mesquite charcoal.

The residents of Casa SONIA and BUNGEE should carry the map with them and make sure the driver is willing to take you all the way to the site before embarking. (Then offer another two or three pesos "to go all the way"-- $0.50 cents is cheap, after you see the hill, especially at the SONIA side). Indicate the two approaches if you can, as that may influence him. There is actually a third choice now straight up Panama street. After building the upper part of Panama ourselves, without any financial help, we were nevertheless asked to kick in on a co-op to finish the lower half which is now completed but is impassable when wet, as it is so steep.

The city has now paved with cobblestones almost all of the streets of Vallarta and now you can even get up to the Sonia property in all seasons, well, most of the time. Frankly, although they are no longer expensive, the frustration of haggling with cab drivers sheds new light on renting a car, especially at CASA SONIA. Actually our long term tariff exclusive to the SONIA side was tempered to allow tenants to afford a vehicle. You may pool between neighbours to save. (The day you go fishing or on the SEA MI AMOR they have the car and so on).

Use the blackboard to advertise your mutual wants. There is a blackboard at the Sonia side but not all the amenities that one enjoys at CASA ANITA such as laundry, daily maid service, etc. to name but a couple.

If you simply must, I've uncovered a few new public phone offices which now offer FAX service, as well as the tour office during business hours now. Phones in Mexico are expensive, as is the installation fee etc. Telephone rates can vary. Several of those 'call home' boxes have heavy setup fees of maybe five or more US dollars, which is fun, when you get an answering machine. The results of the last inquiry on cost per minute seemed to sound reasonable enough but when you call from Mexico a tax of 45% is added and in some cases it's as high as 66%.

The reason for this is that Canada sold them many of the switching centres at elevated prices, which we then loaned them the money to pay for. They of course apply a Government mark-up and voila you have the most expensive phone system in the Western World.

Pay phones which may or may not work are located throughout the city and cost a pittance but use one of three coins of which is out of circulation but used solely for this purpose. Most of them now employ cards only. Let your relatives know our number here in Canada and we will relay any important messages more quickly to you. If your 6/49 number comes up, remember who told you first. Other calls or FAX/messages including e-mails will attract a small fee also.

At the CASA ANITA site we have five lines and we have installed a modern MITEL PBX which allows you to make limited local calls and you can direct dial long distance calls yourself simply by dialing 9 to get the outside line and 89 to get the American operator. You can do this 24 hours a day (without disturbing the managers) but don't talk for hours, as it is not cheap.

What TELMEX would like you to do is buy one of their telephone debit cards that come in 20 or $50 peso denominations. You insert one of these into the card type phones now almost universal and it shows you the credit remaining on the card. You make the call and watch it "unwind" as you talk. It really works well, and is second best to making the call direct from your room which, although more expensive, is certainly the most convenient. Forget the 800 numbers to BC TEL ATT they need a card first to make them work and if you get 'your call is important to us so don't hang up' remember, you're paying.

Firstly the elevations in Puerto Vallarta dictate that there will be steps everywhere... and guess what... there are steps everywhere. This will not change although elevators will help. The advantage is that everyone has a view because the side hill is like West Vancouver or, as I like to think of it, a theatre, because you are always watching and seeing some activity. The panorama is superb.

The second is the noise. The wonderful and healthy cross ventilation which we enjoy by taking advantage of the "adiabatic effect" rather than air conditioning, has a disadvantage; it also admits noise. City ordinances forbidding animals such as barking dogs, roosters etc. are (if they exist)not enforced and one of the reasons I'm sure is that it is difficult to ask people who put 60% of what they earn into their mouths to give up raising a few chickens. These same chickens are useful bug scavengers in the dirt floored 'casitas'. Dogs bark, and dogs protect, this however will change with time. It has diminished considerably from a few years ago. A circle road to detour the large trucks is completed with a tunnel behind the hill already perforated and in use now for several years.

The third "irritation" is however a product of OUR countryman and that of our mutual neighbour the U.S. Enter the "timeshare" salesman. (purposely no caps) This individual is the most insidious, conniving, buzzard you can meet in Mexico. They come in both sexes and all ages although many are suave, good looking and young. They are often so brainwashed with their belief that they are really bringing riches to their clients that their fervor is infectious and many of the laid back people, thinking that they will take advantage of the freebie and politely withdraw at the moment of truth, find themselves the 'proud owners' a few hours later. Their appeal is to greed but done with a subtlety that rivals that of religion's fear of Hell and being outcast etc. Lead will appear as gold and all it takes is one swipe of your Visa card and a simple signature here. ... The chances that you'll see a scorpion in PVEE are very few indeed. The chances that you'll meet up with a timeshare salesperson are as good as finding sand on the beach. Unfortunately we can't reverse the odds.

Consider that no matter what you earn back home as income per day you are worth $150+ per day in PUERTO VALLARTA as your trip cost amortized over a two week period let's say, plus your accommodation yield a daily expenditure of at least $100. So if someone for whatever reason "steals" your time in the sun he/she's costing you $75. to $100./ 1/2 day. Now someone earning that kind of money might quickly see through the "jeep for $10.00 a day" when you know they cost $60 to $80. Some people think they will just listen to the pitch to be amused or "see what real estate is goin' fer down here" and the trap starts to close. Unfortunately the cliche "ther' ain't no free lunch" shouldn't have been so specific as "free breakfasts" are very popular ploys.

The bottom line of this is that unless you are definitely interested in purchasing something, stay away from these creeps. You'll either end up a purchaser or troubled that you let the crown jewels slip through your fingers. Remember, you took this vacation to get away from the tension of decisions etc. so don't put yourself through this ordeal. This denunciation is directed to the methods employed to ensnare people, as 'interval ownership' as I prefer to call it is a viable and certainly popular instrument to hedge against inflation etc. Another advantage to it is that it sort of obliges you to take an annual vacation and that isn't a hard to take obligation.

The thing to remember is that rental is the easiest option and the least confining, although usually the most expensive. In other words you trade lack of commitment and choice for money. You rent where and when you want and receive a thank-you. When you enjoin in a contract you have obligations to dates and locals, albeit a great case for trading is made in the pitch for timeshare. The fact is, in practise, it doesn't work out most of the time. Also there is maintenance to pay. However for a prepayment you have an entitlement to that space and time which is pegged because it is prepaid.

MEX-DEV has studied this dilemma for over the 10 years that timeshare selling has been prevalent in Pto Vallarta and we are considering a type of interval ownership but with a unique twist as this method addresses the other necessity in owning property away from home and that of course is how you are going to get there. Our method is home grown and to my knowledge has not been done before, although, modesty aside, I believe it may be emulated shortly after we launch. The name of the vehicle is "Vacation Annuity". Watch our newsletter for more on this once we have the kinks ironed out.

Back to time share salespeople .... How to avoid them: You can't....so you must be prepared when confronted by them. They now rent (at $1000./month) niches in the storefronts strategically located along the shopping alleys, with signs saying "Information". Several years ago Octavio GONZALES, the ex-police chief mentioned earlier, became subsequently the Jefe de AHUNTIAMENTO (Public works - Municipal affairs) and his campaign plank for election was to "calm down" the aggressiveness of the timeshare people.

He did this by ordering them off the streets - hence the kiosks and 'hole in the wall' niches. Undaunted they will strike up a conversation very obliquely. "Would you like to go to ??????" .... when the word free comes into it - look out. Remember all that person is doing is trying to get you to go somewhere where the real heavys hang out. These guys have sold more Detroit iron than the Bay of Banderas can hold. If this doesn't scare you think of the guy who skipped town back home and look carefully for the plastic surgery, toupees and dye jobs to see if he isn't among them. Wolves pack, so do these types.

However the front line people are the 'girl next door type' and the little Red Riding Hood theme is definitely alive and well here. How to thwart them: The best thing is to purchase a teeshirt that says "NO, I'm not interested in timeshare" and if that isn't handy (I really believe I could sell a ton of these in your second week) tell them you already own timeshare.

Here is a list of responses. Use one or a combination as necessary till the symptom disappears:

I'm gettin a divorce

I've no credit cards

I've declared personal bankruptcy

I have terminal cancer

I have Aids

I'm a travel agent (this works surprisingly well)

I'm a sheriff back home

I'm a lawyer, financial advisor, banker etc.

I'm going home this afternoon

Summer is the cheapest and Xmas the costliest. The ZINGER here is the maintenance for which you are liable (after all you are the partial owner). Maintenance can be, and in the case of a Vancouver B.C. based company, is more than our weekly rental rate and subject to changes on top of that!

On a northbound flight I once sat next to a thirty-five year old girl from ALASKA who had just had the time of her life in Vallarta. She works on a fishing boat 300 days a year, is divorced, attractive, making tons of money in an environment where it is hard to spend. She had bought time share and was obviously excited. She shared with me how it all came about and how lucky she was and I've reflected on this greatly. On the plus side she is definitely happy and will have something to look forward to and help her through the hard 300 days cooking on a rolling ship. She showed me the contract which was in U.S. dollars and was in the amount of $10,000. (this was 1975 pricing). When I pointed out that the maintenance fee was $120. for the week purchased and that I was a tour operator and could rent her a villa apartment with a view (and no 'front-end' payment) for less money, she turned on me and like a religious fanatic and declared, "They told me there would be people like you and that I'd experience the 'buyers blues' but nothing you can say can dissuade me into thinking I did the wrong thing" end of quote.

Now granted she has pegged her rental rate for the next thirty years (except for the maintenance) and I'll raise my rental whenever I think I can. If, however, she remarries and her husband or young son (travelling with her) doesn't want to go there anymore, she of course can rent it. The obliging company will I'm sure for $100. a week guaranteed income, rent it to third parties for considerably more and therefore she won't have to ante up the $120. U.S. but only $20. maybe. As a result of this cult-like brainwashing I felt I should dedicate a section of this guide to this increasing phenomenon.

I'm happy to say that people have become more resistant to this kind of merchandising and the candor of the representatives has become 'tolerable' now (1999). Just ignore them and they quickly lose interest in you. If you wonder why I'm so militant against timeshare it is from no small measure stemming from the fact that I'm extremely jealous of the "developers" side of this. Consider for a moment one of these propositions and multiply the cost of the time share unit by the number of units and project a 35% sold out situation, which means you (the developer) have the other 65% in inventory for either future sale or rental; and then tell me without any building experience if you feel you don't have enough money to purchase the land, build the building and in fact throw in free maintenance for the first ten years.

I'd better stop, or I'll be spawning yet more "timeshare tycoons". The byword is don't lose your perspective in the goal of your vacation. Granted I got caught up in the excitement of developing here, indeed the bougainvillea fragrance has permeated my skin so that tanning won't bleach my resolve to continue building, but if you are thus inclined, seek out a legitimate realtor and there are many. Ask us at the office and we'll direct you to those that we BELIEVE to be reputable. In fact if you’re interested in buying a piece of paradise, why don't you drop into the office of SERVICIOS TURISTICOS whose principal is AUREA APPLEGATE (a past alderwoman) who has a delightful project on the beach, some distance out, mind you, but the best beach on the whole bay. The prices for land are still reasonable and building in Mexico can be fun and rewarding the old fashioned way. Her project is called PUNTO de BURRO (DONKEY POINT). Who knows, maybe I'll be your contractor? Hint Hint?

A dollar per person per day for the maid would not be out of line if you are satisfied and of course more if you left your dishes for the maid. (dishes are not in their union contract but they're keen on doing them in anticipation of a greater tip). Similarly, if the houseboys have served you well by fetching things like water or carrying beer and preparing the bar-b-que etc., a dollar per day to him or to the collective cup would be reasonable. They prefer payment in pesos and although Saturday is payday, many are broke by Monday so Monday would be a good day to submit rather than a lump sum at the end.

Also you will likely be out of pesos on Monday yourself and have to change money at the desk as no matter how much money you change on Friday, by Monday it's always gone. This makes it convenient to get change etc. and ask for an envelope to put the person’s name on it so they are sure to get it. If you simply leave money on a table they will not touch it (unless you're checking out maybe), as it's nebulous as to what it is for. The envelope makes it clear that it is for them.

We have adopted a common pot for tips as many of the less visible staff, such as the gardener, gets the short end. This pot is on the desk at the office and if you feel inclined, they will be most grateful. Consider they are raising families on what most of you are spending on gasoline for your car each week.

Next year’s tariff is based on this year’s expenses. Also the sand that collects in towels that find their way to the beach finds its way into our washing machines which cost a fortune in Mexico. Indeed for the price of one machine, either a washer or dryer, you could buy the pair up North.

Actually, if you want to let him win and come off well yourself, buy a cheap boom box radio and trade goods with him for the radio. Make your deal early in the trip and finalize on the last day. (This isn't very efficient anymore since NAFTA has opened up markets for these hitherto hard to get items). These vendors are territorial and actually pay a daily license to vend on the beaches.

Many good deals are made at the beach and hammering for the last nickel only serves to brand us as a people as "not fair bargainers". To bargain is expected and there is a great deal of fun in it for both the vendor and you if YOU handle it right. Think of the story you'll have to tell when you get home with the object. I've never regretted a purchase made on the beach yet! Remember, you spend more on liquor or gasoline for your auto than this guy earns to handle everything, including raising a family.

The next largest is on the extension of Morelos near Park Hildalgo and is called Nuestra Senora del Refugio. Baptists can find their place of worship one block away from this Catholic Church. Protestants have to search a little more. The Iglesia Cristiana Antioquia is situated at 52 Berlin Street. For information on their services call 222-2464.

Many other faiths are represented and their times and places of worship can be found by asking at the Tourist office located in the southeast corner of the Municipal Hall, which is one block west of the Iglesia in the town centre. Quickly, you too will be using these buildings as a reference point. Such and such is one block up and over from such and such. Street names are used but this works better.

The ZINGER is a down right terrible place with either expensive or bad food. This will accomplish two things for us - put a terrible guilt complex on the person using the GYDE if he/she didn't know that the giving wasn't kosher, and if they did!... give them the awful feeling that the 'new one' they try, might be the "queen of spades".

The other thing is that YOU, our customer/friends will undoubtedly tell us (if one of our recommended places falls down) that 'it' should be the new "ZINGER". Now, so that you don't fall into the trap consult your itinerary to find a line that says: ZINGER =???????name of restaurant????(see PVEE GYDE). And now that we have settled that matter, lets turn to one of the delightful experiences of Pto. Vallarta which is eating, either at home bar-b-queing or sampling one of the now over 1000 places for eating out. We're world class now and here's one of the reasons why.